Disappointment
Written on 12/05 at 09:56 PM by Andy Posner
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This morning I find myself disappointed with myself. I spend so much time trying to bridge the gap between who I am who I would like to be, yet so often the bridge I build is structurally unsound. I find that rather than focusing on my projects, I focus on whether or not I am engaging the projects properly. By properly I mean "in accordance with my expectations." Given that my expectations are consistently lofty it isn't uncommon for me to feel the stress of not living up to myself. I don't fully understand why I turn every little endeavour into a life-or-death struggle between greatness and mediocrity, but the fact that I do is problematic. I don't know how I will ever do the things I want to do-write books, undertake innovative projects, etc-unless I get over this constant need to turn everything into something amazing. Not that I am misguided in my longing for greatness; rather, I am misguided in how I go about pursuing greatness. I have to learn to relax more, enjoy the process more, be more confident, and so on.
Welcome. On this blog things get a little more personal. This is where I chronicle my struggles and triumphs, my attempts to better myself and my world, my poetry, my prose, my bike rides, my travels, my day-to-day activities. If you want to know more about Andy Posner--that amalgamation of poet and monk--you’ve come to the right place. So have a look around, and enjoy the opportunity to learn what goes on inside my mind--only beware, my mind is quite a place!
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