My Body Is A Paradox

Written on 11/26 at 10:09 PM by Andy Posner 0 comments

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At first glance, my body seems to be a paradox: I have a very strong immune system, yet I get sick all the time. What can explain this most intractable of problems? Well, it turns out that my frequent bouts of illness are not related to germs, viruses or infections and, therefore, have nothing to do with the strength or weakness of my immune system. I get sick because I get overly excited. It's that simple. Nearly every time a cascade of ideas, plans and projects washes over me, my body shuts down and starts to ache; my head begins to throb; my eyes get dry and scratchy; and my throat gets sore. It's gotten to the point that I can predict when it will happen-and still be powerless to stop it. The onset of these symptoms wouldn't be so bad-and they aren't that bad, since, as they aren't symptoms of a real cold, they go away much more quickly-if it weren't for the fact that they are part of a larger cycle that goes from idea to excitement to sickness to exhaustion to disappointment. But let me back up for a moment. I should mention that the underlying cause of this cycle is that I demand greatness of myself and, if i feel I am not achieving it, I push myself beyond my limits. I do so for the simple reason that ever since I "discovered" the idealism of the Romantics when I was 16, I have heard people tell me that idealism is but a phase of my life that I would grow out of. I understood even then that it's not that the ideals are bad, but rather that most people choose not to live up to them.

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