> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.andyposner.org/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# A Bipolar Spring
- URL: https://www.andyposner.org/a-bipolar-spring/
- Published: 2014-04-25T01:43:07.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-14T05:59:41.000Z
- Description: It must be Spring. The begonias are vomiting diesel Again, Leaf blowers are whining like scapegoats Condemned to die Again In a swirl Of garbage and leaves, And I don't feel like being alive today.
- Author: Andy
- Tags: poetry

It must be Spring.  
The begonias are vomiting diesel  
again,  
leaf blowers are whining like scapegoats  
condemned to die  
again  
in a swirl  
of garbage and leaves,  
and I don't feel like being alive today.

Why must I  
again  
salute the pilfered flag  
that just yesterday I glibly waved?

Somewhere a monstrous, moody moon  
lingers like a flashlight in an alley,  
plunges her sequined syringe  
into my unwitting, smoggy veins.

Somewhere bird watchers  
and gardeners  
nd beekeepers  
swoon like submissive violins.

It must be Spring  
again.  
I am choking on the dew.  
I am lost in a maze of barbed-wire-wool,  
still cold, lacerated, hemmed in  
again  
like a fiery torment of acid tears  
spilling into a perverse pool  
of my own making,  
and I don’t feel like being alive today.

Who are you  
to assure me  
that life is regenerative?

Somewhere I know that you are right,  
but I don’t care. Not now.  
I am an oil derrick  
wheezing night and day;  
my demise is bound up in my riches,  
and I don’t feel like being alive today.

Somewhere it is Fall  
and somewhere it is Summer  
and somewhere it is Winter  
and maybe here it isn’t even Spring:  
How quickly, how often the seasons change!

I am sober. I’ve never done a drug.  
but the begonias are vomiting diesel  
again  
and I don’t feel like being alive today.

*Written April 24, 2018*