Regret

Regret
Giant_Goldenrod_Bloom_Close-up_PLT-FL-WD-YB-1

“The only difference between a flower and a weed is judgement.” - Wayne Dyer

I have put pen to much that I ought not have
written, including, perhaps, these very words.

I have mistaken Ragweed for Goldenrod,
alleyways for gardens, watched them torn out,

make way for something better. I have asked
what better is, been taught the benefits of

a healthy tan, a good diet, three square meals
and an hour of exercise a day.

Once, a coyote chastised me for drinking espresso
before bedtime. All night I watched him watch me,

both of us tense, locked in stalemate, until dawn
sent us scurrying off, hungry and tired, for no dreams

came true that night. I have been party to dreams
deferred, and, occasionally, realized, have brought

wine and cheese to the celebration, have sipped and
snacked, alone, in the corner, then slinked home

without saying goodbye to my hosts, have wished
for more, for less, been satisfied with what I have,

have cursed the mirror, loved the mirror, cursed
and loved every being that has ever lived.

My Green Foxtail, my Deer Tongue, my Smooth Brome,
my Bull Thistle, my Slender Rush, my Spotted Knapweed,

What am I to do with this secret desire
for your sweet unwanted pollen?

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Diary

Ages ago I kept a diary in a hand legible to
none but me. I read it on my knees as just-fallen

rain clings to pinecones like wet feathers,
the evening slips into its velvet gown,

and starlight pitter-patters on my head
like drops of gallium. I am thankful

the day is dying, for I have forgotten how
to live. Who wrote those words belongs

to an empire that collapsed under its
own grandiose weight, its high priest

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Enlightenment

I was seventeen when I read Alan Watts’ The Way of Zen
a couple pages at a time, putting down the book to observe
sunset drape itself over my mind, falling asleep thinking
of not thinking, hearing a flock of birds and imagining myself
flapping against the sky and recalling that I am sky. Once,
the book well-thumbed and creased and read twice over,
I felt an ant crawl the length of my arm like a nagging
sense that

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Foul Weather Friend

I am a foul weather friend, dear poetry.
I have paid you no mind when spring rains
wash clean the marble statues of gods
and a cheery sun
reads aloud your sweet inscriptions,
nor when awed children skip through museums,
nor accordion-song fills the subway,
nor a stranger does another stranger
a kindness,
nor blueberries are so ripe they bleed sugar,
nor velvet chocolate cake knocks you dizzy with love,
nor, after making love, my wife’s perfume
clings

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