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# The Beauty of Bipolar Depression
- URL: https://www.andyposner.org/the-beauty-of-bipolar-depression/
- Published: 2020-05-23T03:04:41.000Z
- Updated: 2026-07-15T05:03:07.000Z
- Description: Peel back my eyes and touch the still-healing wound oozing cerebral fluid from the Big Bang. It’s in this blind space of raw pain I often dwell.
- Author: Andy
- Tags: poetry, #Migrated-1784090317409, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-07-15 04:39

Too musically disinclined to rap or sing the blues,  
too bound up in striving to retire  
to the vase of my bed like an ersatz flower  
(not even 300mg of Seroquel  
can reduce me to mere ornamentation),  
I instead write this poem,  
which few will read.

You may wonder if it matters  
that you read this, but  
I’m not one to lavish much on myself:  
For whom else would I obsess  
over this comma, that  
enjambment?  
To survive this world's lush, radiant, burlesque  
suffering,  
It’s best that you understand  
why I will never self-immolate, never  
give what's broken in me or the world  
the satisfaction of my surrender.

Peel back my eyes  
and touch the still-healing wound  
oozing cerebral fluid from the Big Bang.  
It’s in this blind space of raw pain  
I often dwell. Here everything is reduced  
to elements, genes, math, poetry. Here  
my life to date plays on an endless loop like  
propaganda. And here originate the florid  
manifestations of myself: the video gamer  
and the coder, the lucid dreamer  
and the psychoanalyst.

If you could join me here,  
you would understand how I’ve endured.

You would find immortality in anguish.